Saturday, July 14, 2007

Orrin's Adventure on the Catwalk

Take a little turn on the Catwalk





"What the... wasn't I just in the middle of attending my female sibling's nuptials?"

Yeah, you were, but something *cough*leatherpants*cough* came up and this was a nice little mental diversion for me from finishing the wedding. We need you to model some clothes for us.






"I thought I wasn't speaking to you, much less about to don any apparel you pick out for me. Especially those... those... pants."

What's wrong with them? Omaha can't wait to go to college to get her own pair.






"That does not surprise me. As an evil overlord, however, I am a tad more... particular... about the apparel I wrap my body in."

Says the man in torn jeans and a too-tight t-shirt. Sorry, your fan club really wants to see you in a pair of them and, well, I kinda have to agree with them.






"I am an Evil Overlord! I am not about to parade around in tight, chafing garments just for the amusement of..."

Um... you don't really have a choice here Orry.






*FOMP!*

"Gah! Dammit Woman, I hate when you do that."

Saves wasting time sending you to the dressing room. You can't bitch while I'm picking out the clothes either.






"Fine. I'm in a pair of your leather pants. Are you happy now? Can I return to my former pursuits? I am certain that if I search hard enough, I can find some cheese somewhere on my sibling's wedding buffet table."

Nope. Sorry. This is just the first outfit. Now get yourself up on the catwalk so we can get a look at you.






"You... you mean there's more? And you want me to parade around up there with them on? But it's not... not... overlordly!"

C'mon sport. Get yourself up there and start 'parading'.

*sigh*






Whew. Another minute or two of that face and I've have sent him right back to the reception with a big bowl of something respectfully cheesy. I'm a sucker for a mopy Orrin. Just... don't let that get out.

Hmm.. and it looks like I may have chosen poorly with the stage carpeting. Lemme see if I can correct that post production.







"There. I am on your catwalk now. Are you happy? Can I get out of these now and leave?"

You're not done up here yet. Head on down to the end of the runway and walk back.






"Grrr... Fine. I'm traipsing, I'm traipsing."






"I do hope pictures of this never get posted on some blog site or something. How embarrassing. I'd never be able to show my face in the Overlord's club again."

How does he think his fan club gets hold of his pictures now?






"Now am I finished? I'd like to get back into my normal clothes."

I told you you weren't done here yet. Remember that room you passed walking in here?

"Yes..."

It's a salon. Hie yourself over there and let's see if we can't give you a little different look for the rest of the outfits.






"By the Nine Hells. You don't expect me to allow him to touch my hair, do you?"

Oh come now. Jean Rene is the best stylist in Strangetown.

"I believe he is also the only stylist in this pathetic corner of civilization."

Well... technicalities...

"Ah, bonjour mon ami."

*sigh* "Why do you torment me so Keth?"






"Come come. When Jean Rene is fini, you will be magnifique. You will see. Yes?"






"Vous must trust Jean Rene. He knows how to bring out your inner beauty."






"I am an evil overlord! I am supposed to be ominous and imposing, with an aura of dread about me. Not... 'beautiful'"

"Tut tut. Your inner beauty, she will shine."






"Et Voila!"






"C'est Magnifique! Just as I said, no?"






"I'm pink! By the Great Wheel of Cheddar, you've turned me pink, you strange little man!"






"I cannot be an Evil Overlord and bring this land under my dominion if I am pink! Woman, make him change it back!"

"You dislike Jean Rene's finest work? I am insulted."

"And I am pink! This will not do! Woman!" *pause* "Um... Keth?"

Wha?... Oh... sorry... distracted a moment there. Jean Rene just... do something. Before he throws a temper tantrum and starts crying.






"For vous, madame, anything. Does ze madame have any special requests for ze little gentleman?"

"What?!"

Change him back to his regular hair color. I can't handle him in pink anymore than he can.

"Vous would not like zometing different? Blond perhaps?"

Er... no. Thanks, but no.






"Why is it that you ignore everything I say, but the moment my stringpuller speaks, you jump all over yourself to do as she bids?"

"Ze Lady Keth, she is not one to be trifled with. You have not realized zis yet? Now be still, or I may accidentally snip off ze ear."

"You wouldn't dare."

He would if I asked him. *snicker*






"Et Voila! Again!"

Er, well, at least it's closer to his normal colour.






"What the? This isn't how my hair was."

"Vell you see mon ami, ze pink, she would not come out in zome places, I had to do ze trim here and ze snip there and..."

It'll grow out Orry.






Now why don't you take yourself over to the bathroom so we can finish up getting you ready?

"Finish? Why do I not trust you?"

Ah, good boy. Work on that suspicion and paranoia and you'll go far in the overlord field.






"All, right, I'm in here. So what..."

*bampf!*

"What in the name of sweet cheesy goodness... Who the hell are you? What is... Ow! Dammit, that's my ear! Let Go! What the hell are you..."

"Oh, quit griping Orry. If you're going to be waltzing around in studs and leather and chains, I figured we might want to do a little something to help your appearance fit with that look."

"But I don't want that look! Just what do you think you're... Yow! Don't pull!"

"Well bend over then. Damn you're tall! You're making it hard for me to work here."

"Work? Just what are you trying to do to... Hey! That's a needle!"

"Well duh. How else am I going to get this hardware in your ear? Clip ons just don't cut it in the fashion world."

"I don't care about the 'fashion world'! You are not coming anywhere near me or my ears with that needle!"

"It'll be over before you know it. Now bend... hmmf... over..."






*smack*

*floor slide* *wall thump* *picks self up*


"Orrin! What the Hell! Did any of the Holldum boys learn it's not polite to hit a lady?! We're at 0 for 3 now."

"What lady? Perhaps if there was one here..."

*flying tackle*

"How dare you? Get off me you crazed stringpuller."

"Just hold still a moment and it'll be all over."

*scuffle*

"OW! Dammit, let go of my ear, woman!"

"If you don't quit squirming I'll miss and end up piercing something else."

*tussle*

"Gah! Stop sitting on me! I can't breathe."

"Oh all right, ya wuss. I'm done anwyay."






"By the Great Wheel of Cheddar, what did you do to me?"

"Sheesh Orrin, you can barely see them through your hair. You'll live."

"I'll never be able to show my face in the Overlord's Club again."

"Sure you will... well, maybe not after you get done trying on the rest of the clothes."






"Clothes? You have more apparel you want me in? Aren't you just going to *BAM!* and snap me into them?"

"That's kinda hard to do when I'm manifested. Now go slip into a stall and put those on. I need a sec to recharge my batteries so I can bip out of here."






*bampf*

"There, I have your next blasted outfit on. Admittedly, this one isn't as bad as I feared it might... damn, where did the termagant do now?"

I heard that.

"Well what would you have me do now?"

Same thing we do every night Pinky. Go walk the catwalk.

"Grrr..."






Besides, your fan club wants see what you're wearing next.

"Oh, magnifique mon cheri!"

"Please tell me the strange little man is not my fan club."

No, he's not, but I think he'd like to join.

"I'm heading to the other room now."






"Damn, this clothing selection of yours itches. Should I be worried that you slipped a poison into the dye and it is now slowly killing me?"

Orrin, why would I do that?

"To make a bid for my overlordly throne. It's what most rivals would do."






I did not poison your clothes. And I am already a Sim-Deity. I don't need your overlordly throne, and... I... ah... er...

"And you what?"

Sorry. Distracted a moment again. Now, go get yourself up on stage.






"I'm telling you, someone poisoned my clothes."

Nobody poisoned your clothes. Who do you think you are, Heracles? I don't see any centaurs wandering about who are willing to bleed on your BVDs.

"But they itch!"

Do you need a Benadryl?






"And now I suppose you want to me parade myself around up here."

That's the idea. Yep, definitely looks like I chose poorly on the flooring.

"It's a bit late to change it now."

I've been correcting it post-production. You didn't notice? Oh, and try to look a little excited up there, could you?






"What would you have me do? Prance about like some feather headed fashion model?"

You're mocking me now, aren't you? And I wouldn't call that prancing. You move like a Don Lothario wanna-be.






"I'm terribly sorry. Is this more along the lines of how you wanted me to move up there."

*facepalm*

Hold that pose. I want to get a shot for the cover of Overlord's Monthly.

"You wouldn't dare..."






"Fine fine, I'll play along with your little scheme. Have I told you lately that you are bossy, overbearing, and demanding?"

Just like someone else I know. Now head back to the start and wait there a moment.






*FOMP!*

"Ahhh! Give a man a little warning before you do that next time, would you?"

I figured an 'evil overlord' like yourself would be able to handle it. I didn't realize you were so sensitive to sudden surprises like that. I'll let you know next time before I do anything. Poor baby. *snicker*






"Though I am loath to do so, I must admit that this outfit is actually tolerable."

Afraid I might take it as a compliment?

"The last thing you need is encouragement."






Heh. Well I'll agree, that outfit isn't too bad. And if we could get your hair back to it's previous color... and before you say anything, I don't mean the pink... it'd match the outfit too I think.






Oh, and just to warn you, I'm going to pop you into a new outfit here in a sec.


"Another one? *sigh* Will the torture ever end?"

Last one, I promise.

"Are you certain it is the last one?"

Have I ever lied to you? Wait... don't answer that.

"Well, thank you at least for warning me."

A thank you from Orrin? *faints* You might want to hold on to those thanks though...






*FOMP!*

"Oh ye gods! Woman, why didn't you mention what you were changing me into."

I only agreed to warn you before I did it.

Hang on one sec. I need to make a change, otherwise things are going to start getting really rough in post production.






There. That'll make things easier. I can quit editing the floor now.


"Woman, by the Nine Hells what have you dressed me in?"

Well... let's see...






*pans back*

Hmm... looks like PVC and leather.


"I will never, ever, be able to show my face anywhere near the Overlord's Club or any other gathering or organization that has anything to do with..."

Oh come on Orry. We get you vamped and that outfit might just work. Now go and take your walk.






"I'm doomed. Doomed. If one picture of this gets out I'll be a laughing stock."

You'll survive Orrin, I'm sure. And we're almost done. Just finish your walk and we'll wrap this thing up.






"There, I've finished my 'walk'. Are you done abusing me and subjecting me to your petty fashion whims? Can I change back into some normal clothes now? I need to plan out how I can disappear for about six months while this humiliation blows over.

Well, can I?!"

Ummmm... well... actually we're not done quite yet...






"Oh of course. How foolish of me to think that you might actually be telling me the truth, when you said that all I had to do is finish this last walk."

Actually Orrin, a walk is two directions. There, and back.






"WHAT?!"

Um... yeah... There, to the end of the catwalk... and back, to the start.

"Down, and back?!"

You've got it. Down and back. Except you've just... gone down. *snicker* You need to do that 'back' part to finish.






"Grrrr! There and back. There and back. There and back Again! Do I look like some sort of accursed hobbit? Oh no. I'm supposed to go down and then back. I went down. How the hell was I supposed to know she wanted more.?"

*giggles madly*






"There, I've finished your damn little catwalk! Now stop laughing at me and get me out of these dammed clothes! And I hope your little fan club is happy."

*chuckle* They're your fans, Orry. I'm just responding to their requests... sort of.

"Whatever. Just change my clothes, Woman!"

Fine, fine. Hold your horses a moment.






*FOOP!*


"Er..."






Sorry about that. My wardrobe mojo is starting to run a little low. I could either swap the shirt or the pants and I figured you'd probably prefer getting rid of the shirt. The pants do go pretty well with EO's gift.

"Oh very well. Can you do anything about the hair?"

Sorry, you'll have to wait till that grows out.






"Fine. I am leaving now and by the Great Wheel of Cheddar I had best not discover incriminating images from this fiasco all over the internet."

You know I can't promise anything like that Orrin.

"Gah. Why did I start talking to you again?"

Heh.

"Bleh. I need a shower. I smell like a new car."






Head on back over to Hoh House then Orry. I've got to... um... not get this written up and certainly not blogged so the Minionettes can't read it. Um.. yeah.

"Grrr."

Don't forget to say good bye to your local fanboy Jean Rene.

"Au revoir mon ami."

"Jean Rene can bite me."

Orrin!!

"As can you and the other fans. I'm an overlord. I'm not supposed to have a fan club."

Don't tempt them with that offer there Orrin. *chuckle* Why don't you go home, have a platter or two of grilled cheese, and take a nice little nap. You'll feel better in the morning.





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